For the last decade or so, I’ve been attempting to filling the role of “professional, normal person who is no different from you, really” Immediately after earning a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from Indiana University of Pennsylvania, I began working in the field of workforce development. I’ve always been drawn to working with the homeless population, and so I began my career as a case manager on a pilot program serving homeless individuals who were court ordered to pay child support. eventually working my way into a supervisory/program management position, where I led the development and day to day activities of a City of Austin funded program to serve those with barriers to employment. In may of 2012, I enrolled at Texas State and in 2014 I received a Master of Arts degree in Adult Education; my focus was on workplace learning and organizational development.
Within a year after obtaining my graduate degree, I was promoted to my dream job: Manager of Training and Organizational Development! And just a few months later, I was fired. After a total of five years with the company, on October 26, 2016, I handed in my badge and left the premises, terrified, but unable to deny that it also felt very, very right. The days following would be colored by an incredible, deep sense of KNOWING that everything was falling into place perfectly, and that my awakening had commenced. “Buckle up, kid.”
I’m a fortunate soul having had these past few months to experience total freedom…and answer the question: what do I do when there is nothing to do? What do I do when I am free to do anything? I know what I do with total freedom. Which is a really good thing, because as it turns out, there is no escape from freedom.
For the past ten years or so, I have been learning about and using various shamanic practices as part of my spirituality. I am not a shaman or a sorcerer or anything of the sort, but I do often seek (and sometimes receive regardless) wisdom and guidance from those who dwell in the spirit realm. Frankly, I’m sometimes unsure if my guides are real or imagined. It’s entirely possible that I am simply carrying on a conversation with myself and ascribing my own inner wisdom to some colorful, but imagined character. Does it matter whether the realm in which the spirits live in is inner or outer? Is there really any separation between the inner and outer? Well…one thing I can tell you is that boundaries are important when working in any realm! Months of personal development on the subject I only have this one presentation to share with you all… eh…It’ll be a nice springboard, maybe. I designed the heck out of a title slide though!!!
My regular spiritual practice consists mostly of just paying attention; stalking what Don Juan Matus referred to in Castaneda’s Journey to Ixtlan as “the cubic centimeter of chance”.
From time to time I will use herbs for their healing properties, and I often use dance as a method to enter a light trance state which helps to open channels for guidance either from my own intuition and/or from my spirit friends. Side note : My spirit friends often look terrible and I’m grateful to report that they’ve agreed not to present themselves visually.
In 2003, I spent a solid year deeply immersed in the study of the Tarot. I still engage that way from time to time. I may add a page soon.
In March of 2015, a little over three years after I began attending the journey circles with the Austin Shamanism group, it was time to go a bit deeper. I had completed my graduate studies at Texas State the preceding December, and I was feeling a bit lost as to what I should do next. So, when March rolled around and the Spirit Paths workshop became available, I enrolled without hesitation. The benefits I’ve experienced from my participation can’t really be summarized as they are ongoing, and to understand fully, you would require detailed context; so, I’ll have to share the whole story eventually, but…you’ll find bits of it woven into the site here and there…
Where I’m At
The results of my energy output will be displayed in various formats across this website, but here, I will summarize with words:
- Making art!
- Learning myself, particularly spending some time with parts of myself that were previously lost.
- Learning to identify and manage my own boundaries in the context of various relationships
- Feeling more capable as a parent as I establish a solid relational foundation with my son, 8 years old, who is solidly his own person now. Healing my own inner child wounds has been and is instrumental here. (I found parts of her in small box on the outer edges of the universe).
- Developing my technical skills in video/photo editing, presentation, graphic design applications.
- Letting my curiosity lead the way! For example, finding out what is behind ALL of the unclicked buttons in Powerpoint, Word, and other programs I’ve used for years but never actually EXPLORED thoroughly.
- Being less distracted by my own thoughts. Before my breakdown, I spent a lot of time judging my own thinking. It was as if my soul had departed and left my body to filled itself with my mind. With the time I’ve freed up by avoiding too much meta-cognition, I recently discovered that I absolutely LOVE belts and scarves! I LOVE accessories, they are everything sometimes!
- Gaining classroom instruction experience.
- Being the factotum Bukowski and I always dreamed I’d be: Lyft, home organization and house keeping services, etc.
- Committing my entire work history (including addresses and phone numbers) to memory by repeatedly entering the information into over 200 job applications
- Learning how to build this website
- Installing, uninstalling, and reinstalling computer programs
- Perfecting my bureaucracy navigation techniques